Pregnancy Woes

Mommy’s Corner is a weekly series exploring our journey in becoming parents, our love for our ShuGar baby, and general topics related to mommyhood.

Hi sweet friends! How is your week going so far? Were you able to jump right back into the swing of things post-Turkey day? I know for me it’s been non-stop things to do. On that note, let’s have a heart-to-heart.

By now, you know I am not a blogger who uses this platform to spew hate or simply complain about the sky being blue. Therefore, please allow me this post to let go all that’s been overwhelming me these days pertaining to the premiere of our little ShuGar. Before I do that, please know that I am over-the-moon excited to be a mom and this has nothing to do with me not wanting to be a parent, etc. No judgment, please. We all have our days.

I don’t know if my hormones are going all out of whack or what, but I’ve been so emotional, stressed, overwhelmed, and a mess these days. I can’t control it!  I’ve had several crying outbursts because I have come to the realization of all that we have to do before April is here. It’s like looking down at an abyss of tasks. Yikes! It’s loads. On top of that, work is work, we are trying to make room in our little house for a third person, I am working on planning my sis’s bridal shower and also our baby shower. Oh, and then there is the blogging thing, which is my outlet and I love, but it does take me time to write. I have so many things I want to do on my little spot of the internet, but I wish I could have an extra day to dedicate to exploring these dreams.

To make things worse, Mr. ShuGar and I have had a few rough patches prepping for our new parenting life. Ssshhhh…it’s not all roses in a marriage! Add to that, transforming your lives as you know it to welcome a new little body. It’s an amazingly, blessed experience, but it also comes with its pressure and challenges that only parents can truly understand. It’s as if you feel guilty complaining because it’s such a gift, but, gosh, it can weigh you down.

This is what my body feels like with the baby bump and all the pressure to prep for baby.

It all came crashing this past weekend when we sat down and began to plan our next few months. We realized we literally have no free time to just relax because there is just so much stuff to prepare.  We have signed up for a series of baby classes, which means our entire February and parts of January and March are are full.  Also, this weekend we cleaned out all our closets to make room and decided to see if we could sell the items at a consignment store. No luck there since they are looking for what’s trending now (so then why would you give it away?). I can say we are working diligently on our to-do’s, but they just keep on growing.

The straw that broke the camels back was when our sweet, dearest friend came by and brought over tons of amazing baby supplies, clothes, etc. It is incredible how much she gave us! We are forever indebted to the generosity of our friend. I don’t know what we would do without her. However, as soon as she left, I saw all the stuff that has now taken over our living room and…..Ahhhhh!!!! I lost it! Tidal wave of emotions came crashing down on me.

What brought on this breaking point was actually seeing a physical reminder of baby items in our living room, as if they were taunting us about how much we really don’t know about baby. I can’t even tell you all the names of all the things in our living room now! We (actually Mr. ShuGar, more than me) have been trying to educate ourselves on everything baby, but it really feels never-ending. Just take a look at the books we have on our reading list.

And then there all these other things you have to research: pediatricians, your registry, your birthing philosophy, to circumcise or not, vaccines, etc. To add even more pressure, circumcision and vaccines are pretty contentious topics with endless amounts of info on the internet on both sides of each issue. Who’s right? Our parent friends advise us to decide what our parenting philosophy is. Say what? There is definitely a fear-mongering culture in baby world.

I know what some of you may be thinking. Just relax and let it go. We probably look like worry warts to you, and I think that this may be partially true. However, it’s not that easy when you know someone’s life is in your hands and you better do beyond your best to prepare. Prepping for baby can easily be a full time job.

Now what? I know we’ll be fine and everything will be ready by the time ShuGar boy makes his debut. It’s just I need a moment to freak out and get it out of my system. It’s a lot to take in.

Ok, I am done with my pregnancy woes. Again, excuse me if it’s TMI, but I figure I will let you all into my world. It’s nice to share so that we all don’t feel so alone in our experiences. Trust me when I say we are dripping with joy knowing we will welcome our ShuGar prince in the next few months. What makes all this madness worth it is knowing he will be ours to love and hold.

Do (Did) you have any pregnancy freak outs? What stresses (stressed) you out about becoming a parent? Any words of advice for this mommy-to-be?

Photo credit: Crying, Stress, To DoWave, Pregnancy Books – Mrs. ShuGar, Overthinking

  • Kristen Genevieve

    I hear you that preparing for baby can be overwhelming at times! I do think its worse in December because traveling for the holidays can take its toll. My my case, my husband and I both have birthdays this month- ahh! Too expensive!! But as for the next couple months – maybe consider dropping a few of those classes and try to make (at least) your baby shower more low-key. Ultimately, isn’t it more important to spend time with your husband to recharge your souls before baby comes?
    Don’t be overwhelmed by pregnancy/newborn books. Most of the books (especially the ones you have pictured) you can just read pieces at a time. And even still, most moms say that once baby comes, life just is what it is – most of the time, you already know in your heart what to do.
    On circumcisions and vaccines – there are tons of opinions out there. For me, I feel the decision is simple because I side with science. It cuts out the noise. On birthing philosophy, my mom advocated natural birth as a nurse but I’m keeping my options flexible to an epideral so that I don’t stress or feel disappointed if things don’t go as I planned. On parenting philosophy – that’s not something you need to know fully before having kids, because it may change once you do. Either way, you can choose what you want to do, and you don’t have to label it. Just be on board with your husband about both of your expectations for adjusting to parenthood (for chores, for needing alone time, and for needing together time). The rest will come.
    As for the STUFF…that’s where I get stressed, too. I live in a one bedroom apartment and I’m not as stressed about the physical space yet (because we’re moving soon after baby arrives), but spending the money stresses me sooo much. I have done tens of hours of research on baby products (especially natural/non-toxic/organic yet affordable products), and I get it – it takes a lot of time. The internet is a blessing & a curse, because those Amazon reviews are helpful but there are soooo many!!
    Just know that ultimately, you baby doesn’t need everything all at once. Baby will be happy as long as his parents have a relaxed, happy energy. Make “centering yourself” a priority so you don’t get bogged down by life, because baby needs you to relax! Hang in there, sister!! Life ebbs and flows, but in the end, just remember that everything is going to be okay! 🙂
    xo kristen genevieve

    • I love you, Kristen! You are such a blessing to have in my life now. It’s just really sweet to have someone who is going through the same thing and understands the stress. You are so right about keeping a positive space. It’s like you literally have to drown out the noise. I think a lot of it is already feeling the guilt of not reading this, not buying this, not doing this. I have heard of mommy’s guilt and I already feel it. That def adds to the stress.

      You mentioned a really important point: finances. Boy, oh boy, that is the #1 reason we have been so overwhelmed. Seeing everything we have to or want to do and the expenses associated with it. I know! It’s not like we’re rich or something! The classes cost and anything associated with baby is always marked up. It really stresses me out even writing about it!

      Glad you don’t have to worry about space. We have a small house so we have to consolidate offices and figure out new furniture. So complicated to do in this short time period. We’re lucky to have a house, though, so I am grateful to have ShuGar boy grow up here.

      Regarding circumcisions and vaccines, I appreciate your input. How wonderful that you already chose a “side”, so to speak. For us (actually me), I have some doubts as to what doctors are always prescribing. I feel like there is a very medicated-happy culture now and I am trying to educate myself on what is necessary and what isn’t. I’ve had bad experiences myself so I want to make sure our ShuGar boy is protected. The internet is a scary place to these topics for sure! So much out there!

      For the stuff needed, wow! You are doing such a good job with the research. Do you have any sites you recommend? I’ve looked at the Honor company. This is another thing I’m feeling pressure because I have absolutely no idea what we need. We need to dedicate an entire weekend to reading that baby bargain book and setting up our registry. I do want to keep my shower more simple because party planning is really not my thing. It adds more stress and more things to do. I just want to buy the minimum because like you said baby just needs our love.

      Thanks, again, for all your advice. You are wonderful! I love how you said that baby needs mommy and daddy to be happy and centered. That never seems to be on our to-do list. I want to just be with Mr. ShuGar and just relax and drown out everything else. It’s reassuring to know that everything will work out…somehow. Hugs, always, to you, sweet friend!

  • PS

    Great post! Makes me feel less alone to know I’m not the only one!

    • You are not alone! I am lucky to have you on this crazy parenting ride. I would be lost without you! We will survive.

  • I can’t imagine the pressure and challenges, but I’m sure that it is really hard. Something I do when I feel overwhelmed is sit on the couch and do nothing. I take the afternoon, the day or even more, the time I need to do things that make me happy at the moment, like reading, eating or just playing with my dog. I just feel so much better when I’m back, I’m more productive and happy.
    If it helps, I think you look adorable with your belly 🙂

    • Thanks, Elba. Yeah, it’s tons of pressure. Taking the day off sounds just like what I need. Just one full day of nothing. I’m getting relaxed just thinking about it! Sometimes you just need to get away. Thanks for that tip! I think we’re going to do that this month because we need it. Aaawww…that is the sweetest thing! Happy you like the bump. I’m crazy about him. He makes all of this worth it. I feel blessed, despite all these challenges.

  • aww i think it’s totally normal to feel this and never feel guilty! sending you lots of love! xx

    • Thanks, Jane! It’s amazing how much guilt we put on ourselves. I heard about it, but now that I am experiencing it, it feels overwhelming. Having your support means a lot!

  • Etta

    First of all, allow me to give you a virtual hug *HUG*
    Next, this is ALL normal. I remember living in a tiny, and I mean tiny, one bedroom apartment and hubby and I brought all our baby stuff home from the shower and there was NO WHERE to put it. I remember thinking “All this for a tiny little baby?” It was overwhelming and that was the first “revelation” I had that my life was about to seriously change. I was just like you, excited and blessed but extremely overwhelmed.
    That was until our son was born, every single worry, doubt, crying episode, etc. All of it went out the window when I held him for the first time. Nothing mattered at that point because from that point on all that we did would be for him.

    Try to enjoy this time as much as you can and be selfish! 🙂

    Oh yeah, before I end my little book here, those books do not help!! In my experience anyways, I remember after my son was born telling my husband “THAT WAS NOT IN THE BOOK!!!!” Like I had it in my head, it’s not in the book so it won’t happen. Anyways, you and your hubby will be amazing parents!!
    xo–
    Etta

    • Thanks, Etta! Boy, do I love your comment. I can feel your virtual hug. You def know how it feels having been there. It feels like a tidal wave. Haha! I can picture all that baby shower stuff and thinking, “What in the world?” Good to know that all that stuff is fairly insignificant compared to meeting your son and being a parent.

      There’s so much fear out there of what you should and shouldn’t be doing, which plays tricks on your brain. You are right that when we see him, I’m sure all of this won’t matter. I know it won’t be easy, but a reality check will happen where we know what we should care about most. Now, it just seems like never-ending prep.

      Can I say I love that you said be selfish! Ha! I have wanted to and then feel guilty that I am not reading the latest baby website etc. I will tell Mr. ShuGar we got some great advice to indulge in our passions now, rather than later. And regarding those books, not surprised. I question what some of them say and I wonder how much is true. Thank you, always, for your kindness and support. I love you, girlie!

  • Danielle

    I did a post like this one recently myself! It happens to all of us pregnant women and it is totally normal! Keep your chin up! Soon your little babe with be snuggled in your arms and all this will be a memory!