When I contemplated starting my own blog years ago, I knew I wanted to explore the institution of marriage. After all, it’s one of our oldest traditions revered by many, yet it’s constantly evolving due to cultural shifts. One of the reasons I am inspired to blog is to share my insights about what I have learned and what I have yet to learn about being married. At the same time, I welcome hearing from others about their own marital journeys. I am hoping to add my own twist on the marriage discussion. Hence, my ShuGar Love Blog was born – a blog dedicated to my love for Mr. ShuGar and beyond.
I am still a newlywed, so I do not claim to know the secrets to a successful, long-lasting marriage. Frankly, I question the existence of a magic formula for everlasting love; everyone’s relationship is uniquely complicated. According to a recent article in The Huffington Post, over the years married couples avoid conflict by changing the subject at the emergence of a disagreement. After many years of marriage, couples prefer to stay in neutral territory to keep the peace. I don’t believe there is anything wrong with this helpful tip, but Mr. ShuGar and I prefer a different approach.
For us, marriage is hard work; it’s filled with moments of sheer bliss and other moments which challenge you beyond your greatest imagination. I remember Ben Affleck said something similar in his Oscar acceptance speech and people began to question his marriage. Really? I thought he was speaking the truth about love. It’s almost like he exposed the man behind the curtain and people didn’t want to remove the veneer of a perfect relationship. For Mr. ShuGar and I, marriage has been an opportunity to grow individually and as a couple. Conflict, fortunately or unfortunately (depending on your outlook), is inevitable in marriage. Yet, we are both integral members of this exclusive club for two where we each get a chance to go beyond our comfort zones. I don’t think I have ever been so at ease with saying “I am sorry” since I became Mrs. ShuGar. I no longer carry that pride of refusing to apologize; I would do anything to make Mr. ShuGar happy. There is no greater gift than being with someone who inspires you to be your best.
Sometimes (ok – probably more than sometimes), these moments of growth emerge from conflict. Mr. ShuGar and I don’t have a perfect relationship, nor do we want one. What’s the fun if you can’t make mistakes and love each other despite your deficiencies? Isn’t that the definition of unconditional love? I am riddled with character flaws. Just the other day, I was in a funk and snapped at Mr. ShuGar for no fault of his own. I immediately regretted my actions – it was a sort of out of body experience. In a way, marriage serves to reflect our greatest strengths and our undeniable weaknesses. But we are not alone; there is someone by our side with his/her own struggles and triumphs.
There is not a single day that goes by in which I don’t thank my lucky little stars for having Mr. ShuGar in my life. His heart, his unwavering belief in us, his smile which sends goosebumps down my spine – they are all reasons I am happy to be part of our “we.” Based on my own experience, marriage is the chance to work together through conflict and sunshine. Every day after our wedding day should validate our vows to build a stronger union.
Photo credit: Lover.ly 
How do you approach conflict in your relationship? What have you learned about your relationship because of this conflict?
A Cup of ShuGar is a series exploring the sweetness of life. For more Cup of ShuGar, click here!
