In a few weeks, I will be turning thirty-five years old. I guess this will be a milestone birthday, especially since I will now officially be part of a different age bracket. I don’t anticipate transforming into another human being, but I do have one goal. On the cusp of turning thirty-five, I vow to no longer be a “meh” person. Allow me to explain.
This week hasn’t been that great. I encountered several disappointments and I reacted the way I normally do: Meh. My Cancer-Crab tendencies are to close up and act indifferent when I feel hurt. Sometimes it is true; I don’t really care or it doesn’t really bother me. However, other times I do feel hurt and a bunch of other emotions. Instead of just reverting to my “meh” ways, I want to learn how to embrace the disappointment, vocalize it and do something productive with it.
I am very expressive with Mr. ShuGar and sometimes a bit too much. It’s easy to be yourself with the person that has vowed to love you forever. Yet, I don’t want to let out my frustrations and pain out on him, as, unfortunately, I have done on many occasions. It’s rarely him who is the cause of my hurt. He deserves better than that. In fact, he has been the one person who has never disappointed me. This is just one of the billion reasons why Mr. ShuGar is my heart.
I want to remove apathy from my vocabulary. Instead, I want to immerse myself in the hurt and move forward. This blog is one avenue I now have to work through the disappointments. I am really proud and happy I am accomplishing my life-long dream of writing. Blogging nourishes my soul; it’s as if I was born to write. For many years, I ignored this part of me because it felt like a distraction to my daily responsibilities. Now, I feel whole in a way I have never felt because I am writing. I don’t even know if anyone reads this, but it doesn’t matter. Blogging fulfills me and I am loving every minute of it.
As the first step in my promise, I am signing up to take a photography class. I want to use photography as another avenue to avoid that “meh” tendency of mine. This is something I can do as an outlet when I feel blah. I have always wanted to master the art of photography and now is the time to do it. Mr. ShuGar has a new DSLR camera and I have no idea what all those buttons are, but I want to learn. Using my blog as a platform, I hope to share my photos with you so you can explore my city and life with me.
Another lesson I have learned in these thirty-four and ¾ years is that life is full of disappointments. Rarely do things go exactly how you want. You may have crafted a master plan for your life, but, as the talented John Lennon stated, “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.” Instead of fighting this, I would like to practice a different approach. When life imposes tangents that detour my plans, I want to accept it and find the silver lining, even if it’s a tiny positive outcome. It’s the only way to not be infected by “meh.”
Thank you for reading my blog. I am excited to share much more of my heart and soul with the blogging world! I plan on taking you on my photography journey in the upcoming months. No mas “meh” for me!
