Mommy’s Corner is a weekly series exploring our journey in becoming parents, our love for our ShuGar baby, and general topics related to mommyhood.
Hi ShuGar Lovelies! How are you? I sure miss you although I love to hear from you on Instagram. Life as a working mom is busy and that’s why I haven’t popped in for a while. However, I have SO much content I want to share with you all; I feel like I have blog posts already written in my mind, like this one I am about to share.
Let me start by saying prior to Camden being born, I was not a baby person. Like not even a little bit; he was the first infant I had ever held. I would actually get annoyed when little kids would be running around and being messy and I’d wonder why parents couldn’t control their children! Boy, have I learned my lesson on that one!
Fast forward to the present and I am an entirely different person now that I am a mommy; in fact, I feel like I have become a mommy to all and sometimes this new identity weighs heavily on my heart.
Allow me to explain…
Actually, allow me to try to explain because what I feel inside around any child is difficult to put into words. It’s as if this motherly love button inside my heart and soul has been switched “on” and now my connection to all children is powerful; I can’t turn it off even if I wanted to.
It doesn’t matter if I know the child or not, I feel a strong connection to any little human and I want to instinctively protect them. Of course, this means that sometimes I take things maybe too personally when I see a child in pain; my heart becomes heavy with emotion and wants to immediately soothe them.
Does every mother feel this way? Am I some sort of a female anomaly?
Two cases in point:
(1) A close friend of ours recently passed away; we are still dealing with his loss. What has been even more difficult is the fact that he had primary custody over his son. He was a great father and now his son is fatherless. My first reaction when I found out about his death (after being in total shock) was.”I would love to adopt his son. I want to take care of him.” The old Mrs. ShuGar would have never had these thoughts! Now, I feel the need to comfort any child who is is pain.
(2) A few months ago, a close friend had a baby. Unfortunately, her baby was born prematurely and the hospital had to do extensive testing on the baby because there were several complications. For weeks, I was heartbroken; I couldn’t stop thinking of this baby and wondering if she was in pain. All I wanted to do was go to her side and tell her everything is going to be alright because in my heart it had to be. Again, prior to being a mommy I would probably have had sympathy in this situation, but certainly not this extent of empathy.
Gone are the days when I could scroll down my facebook feed and not see these horrific images of babies who have birth defects because their mothers had consumed drugs or alcohol when they were pregnant. The moment I read these stories or see a video of a baby who can’t stop shaking, I fall apart! The image is imprinted in my head and I even have nightmares about it!
When I am minding my own business and waiting to pay for what usually is a cartful of supermarket purchases, I inevitably hear a baby start to whine and almost instantaneously I want to get up and hug the child. It’s a gut reaction and one that I have to remind myself to ignore. Can you imagine what a fellow mommy would think if I tried to help her with her tantrumy toddler? I have done that before and so far all moms have been grateful, but I know I should probably stop doing this.
Why can’t I turn this “mommy to all” thing off? Sometimes I wish I could just be more like the pre-mommy I was.
And then most days I reflect on the power of this love inside of me inspired by my son Camden. He is the source of this unrelating motherly love I possess and for that I thank him daily. He has taught me to expand my heart and open it to all little people.
I could spend all hours of the day watching him marvel as he waters the plants in our backyard or sitting beside him as he studies the intricate details in the texture of leaves.
My boy has given me these magical mommy powers and although it is a burden sometimes, I can’t help but think how blessed I am to feel this motherly connection to all. He has made me super human with his existence.
Do you ever feel a sense of connection to babies beside your own? Do you feel this baby love even though you may not have any children? Does it sometimes overtake you? How have you changed since becoming a mommy?