A Letter to My ShuGar Loves: Goodbye (for now)

Camden-and-MommyDear ShuGar Loves: Let’s have a heart to heart. As you know, I am a first time mom to our deliciously scrumptious son, Camden. It goes without saying that I am madly in love. However, I must confess that these almost first four months have not been easy on me. From the 22-hour labor, to my struggles with breastfeeding and postpartum, I feel like I have survived a war. I do want to state that for some women, their labors are easy and they transition into motherhood smoothly. For me, things are better all around, but I now find myself exhausted and feeling like there is not enough time in the day to accomplish everything I want to.

You see, I have returned to my full-time job while, at the same time,  sweet Camdie has regressed with his sleeping. In addition, he seems to dislike several formulas we have fed him and/or bottles. Needless to say, the phrase, “I am busy” appears to be an understatement.

The fact that I have returned to work has resulted in me neglecting my blog. Before, I used to blog in the wee hours of the morning or late night. I just can’t these days. With our beautiful boy waking up 3-4 times a night, I am a walking zombie during the day. Because of this, I feel that my content has suffered and I cannot be the blogger I know I can be. Instead of hiding this from you and pretending like I can do it all (such a misnomer), I say with all sincerity motherhood is hard. I am a better person as a mom, but I am also trying to figure out what that new “me” is. What I do know is that my boy is my number one priority. Because of that, I feel that I have to take a break from this lovely blog of mine to be his mommy.

This, of course, means that I must sleep whenever I have free time. It’s for my sanity and that of my family’s. This is bittersweet for me. I love blogging. It’s the one thing that I have these days that is truly all mine. Writing is in my core and I feel most connected to my soul whenever I devise a blog post. I have been blessed with having the honor of writing for you. Your comments and messages have all touched my heart. I just need you to know that.

For now, I must tell you I have to take a break from my little corner of the Internet. I know I risk you never coming back or forgetting about me, but that is a risk I must take. As I contemplated doing this, I realized I was born to write because so many future posts were swimming in my head. I have so much more I want to share. Some ideas I have are: What it means to be a working mom vs. a stay at home mom, summer nights at the Hollywood Bowl, Can mothers have it all?, Fall fashion wants, movie review of Boyhood, our 3-year wedding anniversary take-aways, L.A. museum visits, and the truth about post-partum depression.

And with that I tell my readers I’ll see you later. I hope to come back when Camdie is sleeping more. I will still post photos of my heart on instagram and facebook. When I do return, I would love to reconnect with you, but I understand if you can’t wait. Know that I thank you for allowing me to share my heart with yours.

P.S. This article made me cry.

Photo credit: Peter Shushtari

  • You do whatever feels right for you! I’ve been blogging much less lately since we’ve been having such a busy summer. I’ll still be following along on Instagram and Facebook so I’ll see you there 🙂

  • Julie

    I totally understand what you are going through. Trying to balance life as a wife and mother and work and blogging can be tough. We’ll definitely stay in touch. I’ll be thinking of you and hoping things will be better for you.

  • PrincessMouseyCards

    If you were to post once a month, every six months or once a year, I have a feeling we would all stick with you. We all love you. Funny, when I saw Boyhood, I did think of you. I loved that movie. Motherhood goes by fast and every moment happens once. My son is 20 now and it does not come back. Enjoy & live every moment as it happens. I have Jeremy’s journals still & he appreciates them. Sending bunches of love from Texas to you my friend.

  • Understood. I’m not sure that if I were to return to any form of working outside the home I could keep up with blogging, just simply writing and editing posts. Heck, sometimes I wonder about it as a stay-at-home-mom. So, I understand. You do what’s best for you and your family. I look forward to your return when that becomes possible 🙂

    P.S. Motherhood doesn’t get ‘easier’, but it does get more manageable. I’m 15 months into our first child and well, it’s more manageable now 🙂

  • I completely understand what you’re going through. Take your time to sort things out. When you’re back in your groove, everything will make sense. This is just a small phase, and things will look up soon. I know it’s easy to say it, but there is light at the end of the tunnel with this phase. 🙂

  • so much heart and truth here. sending you lots of love. you’ll be missed on the blog but when you come back it’ll be that much more sweeter. xx

  • Good for you, Carmen! You need and deserve a little break. Good luck, and I hope you come back feeling refreshed and more energized. Give Camdelicious lots of kisses for us <3<3<3

  • Dear Carmen, I will be here when you come back! I honor your decision to prioritize your new life as a mom to your adorable baby Cam. Motherhood is hard. Period. I also had trouble breastfeeding, pumping at work and being a zombie at meetings. Though, I remember praying: “Please God, give me the effect of 8 hours of sleep with the 3 hours tops, I’ll get tonight.” God would always honor my prayer every time 😉 It does get easier, Cam, will sleep better and before you know it he will be eating solids like a champ!
    I say to myself: “It is a season, to do this… but not that yet…”. All the best my dear!

  • Sorry to see you go when I had just barely found you, but I understand much, much too well to offer anything but a sincere hope that the time you free up is well spent, that you enjoy everything you can about your child’s babyhood (not counting the non-sleep – I always found that completely impossible to love).

  • Wow, such a big decision! I’m glad you are doing something that will help you be the best that you can be Carmen. I will miss you, but wish you all the love in the world. When you do come back do let us all know. I will still see you on Instagram! Like my grandma once told me, “Don’t say goodbye, say asta la vista!” See you soon Carmen.

    Love,
    Tania
    http://inspiremyfancy.blogspot.com

  • Fatima Lora

    You go, girl! You’re doing what’s best for you and your family, and I know how tough it is to balance it all. I cannot wait to see more photos of your journey. I will be here when you return. 🙂 Virtual hugs!

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  • Janeth Sanchez Paez

    I’ve only learned about you blog and I love it. I totally can relate to your moment in life right now, you are doing the right thing. Follow your gut. As a working mom (mine are 4 and 7) I hear you about finding balance. Enjoy these precious months 🙂

  • KPsays

    Best of luck to you Carmen on your journey of becoming Camden’s Mommy. While you will be missed, I totally understand sometimes you have to take a break and get back into a new groove. I am happy that I will get to keep up with you and that sweet boy on Insta. I’ll still be here awaiting your imminent return! Hugs, Karen

  • Rest up dear <3

  • Mrs.AOK

    Sending you love, mama! Enjoy that absolutely yummy little man. I’m still enjoying my glimpses of Camden on IG <3
    XOXO

  • Jennice

    I m glad that you have made this tough decision for your sake and your family’s
    I for one will be right here when u get back and in there mean time I’ll be catching up on older posts. Good luck to you from NYC!

  • Gosh do I know what you mean. Returning to work and balancing it all out is SO crazy difficult. I felt like I was drowning most of the time. It gets better though, I promise. Enjoy your little bundle of shugar. 😉

  • Crista Baasch

    After I had my third the same month you had yours I haven’t had the time to blog..this is the first time in months actually! I miss your posts though!

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