Dear ShuGar Baby: Our Time

Camden-Sleeping-with-Mommy

 Mommy’s Corner is a weekly series exploring our journey in becoming parents, our love for our ShuGar baby, and general topics related to mommyhood.

Dear Camden, 

Have I told you how much I adore you? You and your daddy are my greatest gifts. I write you this letter so you can cherish a special time you and I had together from the moment you were born. For the past two and a half months, I have been home with you every second of every day. I have been blessed to care for you from the moment your eyes open to the second they are shut. But, now, this time will soon come to an end. Because of that, I want you to know how much I have cherished our time together.

I will not be here all day any more because your mommy has to go to work. I work because I must provide food for you to eat, a place for you to sleep, clothes for you to wear, and toys for you to play with. I also want you to know that I work because I love my job and it is important for your mommy to do something that makes her happy. I have worked very hard to build my career and find this job and that is why I want to work. 

However, this does not meant that I will not miss you. I will miss you so much that my heart will hurt. My hurt is breaking just writing you this letter. Even though I will not physically be with you during the day, I will forever be in your heart and I will check on you constantly to make sure you are ok. Your beautiful Abuelita and your daddy will take good care of you when I am gone. As soon as work finishes, I will rush home to give you the biggest hug and kisses in the world. I will feed you, bathe you, and put you to bed every night. 

Before I go back to work, I want you to realize how much I have adored being by your side as I’ve seen you grow these past few months. It has been an honor to change your diapers, breastfeed you, cuddle you, swaddle you, and do tummy time with you. 

I will forever cherish these memories:

  • Singing songs to you after I change your diaper. I love to see you give me big smiles every time I sing to you.
  • Going to our mommy and me classes. You and I make a great team in class and I enjoyed learning new things about being a mommy with you by my side.
  • Having you sleep on my tummy. It’s one of my most favorite things to have you sleep on me like the picture above. Both of us daydream together and feel the warmth of our bodies lull us to sleep. There is nowhere I would rather be than holding you.
  • Breastfeeding you to give you your food to make you nice and strong. It wasn’t easy at first, but I am so glad I continued doing it so that you could have the best food. Because I have fed you, I have loved those special moments with you in my arms. We lock eyes and only the two of us exist.
  • Talking to you and having you “talk” back. Every morning I tell you “Good morning”and you reply “goo goo.” When I tell you “I love you” you tell me “Ooo oo.” It melts my heart every time.

I tell you these things so that one day when you have a baby and you have to go to work, you remember your mommy stayed home with you to care for you because she wanted to. Even though I will return to work, the love I have for you only continues to grow stronger because love knows no distance. It grows with time and develops with our special moments we will forever have together.

Remember, even though things may change around the house, I will always be your mommy and will be here for you no matter what. From this point forward, we will have a new “our” time and it will be ours forever. 

Mamas: Did you have to go back to work or are you a stay at home mom? If you went back to work, how did you feel when you did? If you stay at home, what do you enjoy and maybe dislike about it? No matter what, we are all making sacrifices fro our baby.

If you are not a mama, did your mom stay at home with you or go back to work? What are your memories of that experience?

Photo credit: Peter Shushtari

  • Fatima Lora

    I went back to work after 8 weeks since I had a c-section. It was weird for me. I worked for a small company that had big name clients. Prior to the birth of my son, all I cared about was meeting the needs of each client, helping them reach their goal, etc. I was the first one in the office, and the last one out. After having my son and going back to work while my father cared for Sebastian, I started to really question things. My work suffered because I no longer cared about those companies and their needs. I questioned if my son was okay. Did he need me? And most importantly, I felt it wasn’t fair for my son to only spend nights and parts of the morning during the week with his mom.

    Weekends were family time, at least we had those, but it was never enough (or at least in my mind). Growing up, my parents worked hard for us. My mom worked crazy hours in the day, and I always wished I had the relationship most teen girls did when I reached high school. Now, in a different state and being at stay-at-home mom, I feel as though I can really raise my son.

    Although I know my dad would have done a great job, I never felt comfortable leaving it up to my dad to raise him. Work is work. It will always be there. Your child and the memories you create together won’t.

    • Oh, 8 weeks seems so soon to me. That must have been really hard. It’s amazing how much we change after out babies are born. I am lucky that my mom will take care of him while I work. I feel blessed in that way. I’m happy to hear you found what worked for you. Every person’s circumstances are different and we have to do what is best for our family.

      For us, without two incomes we cannot survive. I think most families in L.A are that way. It’s just way too expensive and not many people can afford to take an extended period of time off. I know we couldn’t pay for our mortgage. Also, I have worked hard to get my career with finally getting my Master’s. I love my job and I don’t want to abandon it, but I adore my Camdie. As is mostly everything in life, nothing is black and white. My mom went to work after two weeks of giving birth to me. I didn’t love her any less and, in fact, I would never have realized that I wasn’t with her those first few months. She did what was best for her.

      I admire all moms who make all sorts of sacrifices for their families. Mamas rock!

  • We were fortunate that Hun’s employer hired him literally the week before Baby Boy arrived. Because off thusand a leap of faith, I stopped working as my leave ended. I hadn’t been with my employer long and Iknew there be sacrifices financially, but I’ve powered through. I continue to power through, as we both believe strongly in my staying home.

    Sometimes I really really want to work abd but just for financial reasons (though overall it wouldn’t improve much because of needing a caretaker), more because I like the work I’ve done. Plus, the adult interaction would be great. As it is, we make the most of what we have together and work at improving our situation. At times, I feel much shame and guilt because we struggle, but I get to be home with Baby Boy raising him as we choose and that matters more.

    • Thank you for sharing. I appreciate it.

      Each family has to make the decision that is best for them. I’m glad that you both found something that works for your family. It’s not an easy decision to make. As for me, my mom will be taking care of him and I feel blessed for that. Living in L.A., it is really hard not to have a dual income. The cost of living is just so expensive. Plus, I love my job. I’ve worked really hard to get my position. I look forward to working, but I will miss my lovely boy so much.