A Blog All About the Heart

His Happiness

July 25, 2013

Before I met Mr. ShuGar, I didn’t consider myself marriage material. I guess I just enjoyed my independence and I assumed that being married would stifle my identity. Of course, like almost every girl, I fantasized about my wedding, but I never really had any thoughts beyond that day. For most of my life, all I wanted to do was to travel the world and visit every continent (this still is my dream).

However, when I fell in love with Mr. ShuGar, I changed. I daydreamed about being with him and traveling the world…with him. I was unclear as to many of my future goals, but I knew I wanted him to be in my life forever. Saying “I do” to Mr. ShuGar was the most magical day in my life. I wish I could wave a wand and go back to the beginning of our wedding day. I would soak in every single moment. I’d listen to both of us saying our vows. I’d tell each guest that we loved them and are grateful they are there because they were hand picked as the most important people in our lives. I’d dance all night with my new husband and I would sit at our table and enjoy the view of our gorgeous wedding.

Although my wedding was a dream come true, my marriage has been the daily proof of our wedding vows. Outside of my love for my family, loving Mr. ShuGar has taught me what unconditional love looks like. One of my greatest marriage lessons has been realizing that Mr. ShuGar’s happiness equals my happiness (to a certain extent).

I don’t mean that my needs and wants no longer exist. They certainly do and I don’t ever want them to completely disappear, even after we hopefully have children. Nevertheless, I understand there will be a shift in priorities when we become parents. What I have learned about marriage is your love for your spouse is so great that you feel immense happiness when he is filled with joy. It’s so weird because I never felt that with my previous marriage or any former relationship.

When Mr. ShuGar smiles, I smile. When he is pursuing his dreams, I am overwhelmed with happiness for him. It’s amazing this sense of connection I have with his heart. It’s as if we are completely in sync. A great example of this empathetic happiness is when Mr. ShuGar is working on his film projects. This is who he is and what he loves. I have never met someone as passionate as him about his art. A career in film is not for the faint of heart; only those with true passion can call themselves filmmakers. Mr. ShuGar is most happy when he is doing film. This automatically makes me feel overjoyed.

Mr. ShuGar’s happiness has been one of the greatest lessons I have learned about marriage. I have seen this empathy in the reverse when Mr. ShuGar hurts when I feel pain or celebrates my successes as his own. I am not saying I have completely forgotten my own sense of self and my own happiness. I am trying to describe how marriage has enhanced my definition of happiness. Mr. ShuGar has earned my love for him from the moment we first met. Being married to Mr. ShuGar makes me a better person every day. Loving him and being happy for him makes every day feel magical.

What has been one of your greatest lessons in your marriage?

Photo credit: Ashley Rose Photography