Dear (Hopefully Future) ShuGar Baby: The Day We Met

Disclaimer: I am not pregnant.

I was having a conversation with someone recently and she said she wanted to write letters to her future child so that she could remember all the things she’s learned and wants her future child to benefit from knowing.  I thought this was a brilliant idea and I would like to do the same. What better platform to do it than my blog dedicated to my heart!

Mr. ShuGar and I hope to one day be blessed with a ShuGar baby. We know it’s a miracle to have a child and we pray we are lucky enough to be given this gift. In the meantime, I would like to open my heart to my future ShuGar baby and tell our baby stories and share some advice.  I also love the idea of chronicling our journey to be parents so that our child can one day hopefully read it and know our ShuGar story.

Dear ShuGar Baby:

Do you want to know how your parents met? It’s an incredible story of luck, destiny, choices and, above all else, love.  

I was looking for an additional job to earn some extra money.  I didn’t have many options because I had to find a part time job that would fit into my limited availability. After searching for months, I finally found one and was so relieved.  Of course, I didn’t know it at the time, but this job would change my life forever. Your daddy was working at this job and trained me on my duties.

However, your daddy and I didn’t initially feel love at first sight because I was in a relationship when we first met.  Plus, your daddy was busy working on his film projects so he didn’t have much time for love. Even though I was with another man when I met your daddy, I was immediately attracted to him the moment we were introduced.  Nevertheless, nothing happened for quite some time because I was deeply involved with someone else.  This someone else was not the right person for me; we had many problems, but I was too blind to see them during that time. Sometimes, you give your heart to the wrong person.

Your daddy and I only saw each other for four hours a week at that job; it’s not much time at all to get to know someone. Yet, that’s all it took. We became friends and I was drawn to your daddy’s kindness and his talent.  We liked each other from the very start. 

 At some point, my dysfunctional relationship ended and I was heartbroken.  It was one of the most difficult moments of my life – learning to let go of an unhealthy love.  Your daddy was there comforting me and listening to my heartache.  He always respected me.  You should know, not all men treat women with kindness and respect.

One of our recurring conversations between your daddy and I was about the movie The Godfather.  He couldn’t believe I had never seen the movie. You see – this is one of your daddy’s favorite movies of all time.  It was hard for him to understand how I never watched his favorite movie.  We had many talks about why he loved the movie and the importance of the film.  You know how much your daddy loves movies, right? Well, he asked me repeatedly when I was going to visit his neighborhood to watch the movie together. 

Time passed – we became closer as my heart slowly began to heal.  I was a little nervous getting involved with someone I worked with because I like to keep things professional at work.  Just like the movie says, “It’s not personal. It’s strictly business.” At least, this is what I always told myself about dating anyone I worked with.  But, I couldn’t resist your daddy’s charm.  We had a chemistry that was undeniable and it was just a matter of time before we took our relationship to a romantic level.

One day, we finally picked a date for me to visit your daddy to watch The Godfather.  When that day came, we immediately connected and from that point forward, we began to establish our love.  We enjoyed spending time together very much.  With each date, I fell in love with your daddy more and more.  How could I not? He’s so dreamy and his heart is endlessly loving. Oh, and that smile!

I tell you this story for two reasons: 

(1) Never settle for someone you do not deserve.  Many women are afraid to leave an unhealthy relationship because of the fear of either being alone or of not finding the right mate. Regardless of these valid concerns, you need to give your heart to someone who is worthy of holding it in his/her hands.  Do not waste your time and energy with someone that does not respect you.  It will be the mistake you regret for the rest of your life.  I am proud that I was able to walk away from an unhealthy relationship. It was scary, but I finally had the courage to do it.  Always remember your worth.  

(2)  Never lose hope of finding love. You never know when love will find you. Don’t let your heartache cloud your faith in love.  You can survive a broken heart. When I met your daddy, I was not looking for love. I was completely absorbed with someone else who wasn’t the best partner for me.  I never knew that accepting that new job would bring me to the love of my life.  There is no formula to finding love; just believe and never give up. It may not be easy to find it, but you will.   Finding and choosing your true love are important choices you will make it your life.  Choose wisely and do not despair. Love will find its way into your life when you probably least expect it.

Turns out, it was always personal and not business.  I fell in love with your daddy because I allowed myself to make it personal and not strictly business.  I opened my heart to the possibility of loving and trusting someone again.  Life is about these personal choices and connections we make. It’s why we live and it is why we love.

We love you, ShuGar Baby.

Photo credit: Gabriel Suarez

Mrs. ShuGAr Signature1

  • Oh Carmen this melted my heart! Such true words and very wise words for any child. You are so special Carmen, when your time comes your children are going to be so lucky to have you and Pete as parents. Sending you much love and blessings x

    • Thanks so much, sweet Kate! I love your support and your words are so touching. You know I feel the same about you & your hubs. Sending you all my heart!

  • This was simply beautiful! My fiancé and I met the same way… Friends for years, I was in a relationship and when that ended, he was the one comforting me. Everything you said is so true, especially not letting heartaches cloud you, because you truly never know what you will miss. And definitely know your worth. Those are words I try to live by and hopefully can pass it down to my children. Oh, you will be such an amazing mother, Carmen!

    • Thanks so much, sweet Victoria! You are so kind. I love that you have a similar story like us. Congrats on your engagement! I am so happy for you both! It’s such an amazing ride you are about to embark on. Heartaches are part of life, but it’s all about how you recover and move forward. I appreciate your encouragement. I hope to one day be amazing mother! Many hugs!