My heart in my hands

Your heart in your hands.

Your heart in your hands.

I’m not a baby person. I have never gone goo-goo or ga-ga over any baby. I’m not heartless, I just never fell head-over-heels in love with a baby. Maybe it’s because I didn’t grow up with any young children so I have had limited exposure. Or I just never found the right man to be the right father. Or maybe it’s because I don’t have the mommy gene that most women seem to have. Either way, I have always been ashamed to admit my baby-less fever.

Then came Mr. ShuGar into my life and my world changed. For the first time, I began to contemplate life as a mother because I found someone I could give my whole heart to. I know Mr. ShuGar would be a good father because he understands the meaning of love. The thought of having a child with him makes me feel a blend of excitement mixed in with joy and sprinkles of nervousness. But mostly, it makes me feel layers and layers of pure love.

I asked a very close friend of mine what it feels like to be a mother. She said the moment your baby is born and you hold the baby in your arms you feel so vulnerable because it is as if “you are holding your own heart in your hands and you would do anything to protect your heart.” I have always loved that image. I feel it perfectly describes unconditional love. I want to know how it feels to hold our hearts in our hands.

And so is the beginning of a new journey for us. No baby growing in my belly just yet. No specific plans of when that will actually happen. However, I have a feeling growing inside of me of what life can be when two hearts create a baby heart.

Photo credit: Pinterest – maryruffle

  • Timmy

    This is one of the sweetest and most honest thoughts I’ve read about having a baby. So heartfelt and special. Made me cry as a matter of fact. I hope and pray that you will one day be able to hold your heart in your hands.

    • Thanks Tims! It came from the heart because I’ve always wanted to verbalize my feelings on wanting a baby. I hope my dream comes true one day.

  • Mrs. Rhoades


  • Liliana

    I’ve always felt fairly awkward when it comes to most things “female”: make-up, high-heels, marriage (up until I got married after an 8 year courtship)… and babies. There are so many societal expectations that the greatest thing women can aspire to is being a “good wife” and a “good mother”– so I spent most of my adulthood rebelling against “social norms.”
    For most of my adulthood, I’ve liked children from afar and in small doses. No baby fever here. And then recently, it just happened: I felt the desire to become a parent. I guess it’s a combination of being comfortable with and liking the person I am, marriage, and the desire to share a lifelong bond with little someone that have led me to this new place. Weird.

    • I completely agree with your feeling. I’ve always felt “uncomfortable” to express this b/c of judgment from other women. We can really be hard on our own kind. I am glad there are others like us that can relate. It’s nice to not feel alone. Thank you for sharing your heart.

  • Love this and can so relate to this. When your time comes, you two are going to make the most fantastic parents!! Sending so much love your way x

    • I feel the same way about you, dear friend. I know it’s just a matter of timing for the both of us. I am so happy to know you can relate. We are not alone. Much love to you always!

  • That’s a very honest and touching post! I am not to get emotional over small things, but your words touched my heart! All the best for the new beginning 🙂 Luv, Shomi!

  • Mrs. ShuGar

    Thanks so much, Shomi! I really appreciate you taking the time to read and share your thoughts. It was a very personal post and one I was scared to write, but, ultimately, happy I found the words to express my heart.

    Thank you for visiting!